August 18, 2010

my dear baby-loves

Because of you, I will revel in every moment of my next pregnancy, whatever the outcome. Because of you, if I have children who live, I will cherish the time I have with them every single day. Because of you, I know how to take absolutely nothing for granted.

I am so grateful that even though you're not here, I still get to practice all the most important responsibilities of being a mommy. I still get to love you no matter what, and miss you while you're away, and honor your individuality and personhood. I still get to feel unalterably connected to you. I still get to offer up a part of myself every day, for your sake.

It is so good for me, to be your mom! You are the best thing that has happened in my life, the most wonderful thing I ever made. You are two bright spots of color in an otherwise dim and dreary existence. Being your mother has made me a better, stronger person than I could otherwise have been. I know your someday-siblings are going to be really grateful, too.

XOXO - Mommy


  1. This is beautiful. You are an amazing mama - an amazing woman. I can tell just from the little I have read here. It speaks volumes. I ache for your losses as I ache for my own. Much love and healing to you.