twenty-five

Day 25 - your day, in great detail

10:02am
I wake up to sunlight streaming in my windows. A welcome sight, after three days of grey and rain. I stayed up too late, and neglected to remove my makeup, so my eyes are burning. I rub at them, even though it gives me twinges of guilt every time, knowing I am damaging the fragile skin and causing myself who-knows-how-many future wrinkles. Sorry, skin!

10:16am
Still not fully awake. Trying to shake off the night's lingering dreams. It is Monday. No work today, thank goodness.

10:25am
I think I will have a few bites of plain yogurt, and a whole wheat English muffin with peanut butter for breakfast. Maybe some cocoa.

10:40am
There is only chunky peanut butter in the cupboard, which I used to avoid because it would hurt my teeth. But I've had some dental work done, so now I can eat crunchy peanut butter again, and I decide that is reason enough for a moment or two of joy.

10:53am
Turn on the computer. While waiting for it to wake up I notice, for the first time, that my tissue box has something written on it in French: de reves et d'inspirations. Something about inspiration? On a tissue box? Also, there are purple cartoon butterflies on it. (Not really my style, but I got it for $1 at Dollar Tree.)

10:58am
Google translate. De reves et d'inspirations = Of dreams and inspiration. Good to know. Purple butterflies of dreams and inspiration? Sure. Why not, tissue box. Why not.

11:07am
By the way, I added a splash of Toffee Nut creamer to my cocoa, and I think it is offically the best idea ever.

11:14am
Login to Blogger. Type out a play-by-play of the morning so far. Try to decide if I should wait, and not publish until later tonight, or publish now and add to the post throughout the day.

11:35am
Decide to publish now.

11:40am
Facebook. (Meh.) Emails. (Only two new messages.) Election news. (Appalling!)

12:01pm
Try to put my feet up while I read; tip computer chair completely over instead. Ouch. Lie on floor for a moment, marveling at my own clumsiness, before getting up and righting the chair and sitting down again to tell you about what just happened.

12:10pm
Curl up like a cat in a puddle of sunshine on my unmade bed. My right shoulder hurts from my fall.

12:16pm
Shower.

12:36pm
Wrapped in towels, I lie down again in the sunlight, watching its slow slide across the bed. I notice, absentmindedly, the tiny patch of hairs on my knee that I somehow miss every time I shave my legs. It is warm, and there are no urgent demands on my time, and I am content to float through this day and not think too deeply about anything.

12:50pm
Getting ready to go run a few errands.

1:00pm
Fashion emergency.

1:27pm
Finally dressed and made up and ready to go.

1:35pm
Driving through town almost on autopilot, I find myself slipping into sad thoughts. I fear that I am broken, irreparably. On the outside I look "normal." But I do not know how to be like everybody else.

1:49pm
At the library. (Whenever I move, one of the first things I do is find out where the nearest library is, and apply for my library card.) I love the library.

1:52pm
Get a call from AT&T, because my bill is overdue. I don't answer; I will pay it on Friday.

2:20pm
Code Brew for lunch. Settle in to read for awhile on the red leather couch with a turkey sandwich and a Chai latte.

2:29pm
"One day a storm came and swept away everything that Emma had, and everything that Emma knew. When it had done all that, it swept away Emma too. It might have been a storm with black winds, with thunder and lightning and rising waves. It might have been a storm with terrible anger and policemen coming to the door, and strangers, hospitals, courtrooms, and nightmares. It might have been a storm with soldiers, and fire, and hiding in cellars listening to shooting overhead. There are different kinds of storms. But Emma faced the storm that swept over her, and found a way to save herself." --Kage Baker, The Hotel Under the Sand

3:05pm
Ready to head home.

4:13pm
Catching up on blogs. This makes me laugh.

4:44pm
Inspired by the internet to do some self-portraits.

5:01pm
Quickly un-inspired by actual results. I need a new camera. Badly.

5:23pm
Back on the computer, exploring youtube. This makes me cry.

5:56pm
I'm formulating a plan, to be divulged at a later date. (It's a nice plan, not a dastardly one. Don't worry.)

6:37pm
Tear myself away from the computer. Realize I'm hungry, but don't feel like making dinner yet. Go find an apple.

6:45pm
Watch the latest SNL on-demand in the living room.

7:40pm
Still don't feel like cooking. Scrounge some leftover meat and peas for dinner. Thank you, Auntie!

8:00pm
Set up sewing table. Oren Lavie & Joshua Radin Radio playing on Pandora, to soothe me into the nighttime.

11:03pm
A final update. I sewed for three hours straight. My back hurts now, but I am oh-so-nearly finished with one of the Christmas gifts I needed to make, so that's good. I am eating a big gob of chocolate birthday cake (plus a little yogurt, instead of ice cream). Then I will brush my teeth and go to bed, read for a little while, go to sleep. I hope the cake doesn't give me bad dreams. I hope instead I do not dream at all.

That was probably more detail than anyone ever wanted; but I had fun with it.
Good night.