Time for some whinging. Feel free to tune out.
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I hate my job.
Hate.
Hate, hate, hatehatehate!
Normally, I would quickly add: "But I am thankful that I at least have a job.
I know I'm really lucky."
But do you want to know a secret?
I'm not thankful. I'm not thankful at all.
And I don't really think I'm lucky. (By what stretch of the imagination am I lucky?) I think my life sucks and it's never going to get any easier and why can't someone just take care of this shit for me? That's what I really think. I think I am always going to be poor and I'm never going to be able to pay back my loans or get my own apartment or travel or do anything fun, ever.
I am so tired of working in stupid stores selling stupid shit to stupid people who don't actually need any of it. I am tired of mean bitches talking to me like I'm an idiot, or some kind of lowly servant girl, or a subclass of human. I am tired of busting my ass for a measly $8-minus-taxes an hour, while my lazy coworkers hide in the breakroom or go outside to smoke or leave early without telling anyone. (M says I think I'm better than them -- but I don't think that. I know it.)
I am tired of being so goddam agreeable all the time.
I am tired all. the. time.
They keep telling me I need to smile more.
My first thought is always, unexpectedly, "Fuck you."
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I fear that there is no justice in the world.
I've been choking down some unexpected fuck yous lately, along with a whole rash of comments that would expose to the world how asshole-y my thoughts can often be. I hear you. I’m so sorry you’re feeling unappreciated at work. That sucks. And amen to your rejecting the “but at least I have a job” mantra that we are all supposed to embrace these days. That line doesn’t equal “I’m so happy you can shit on me and there’s nothing I can do but accept it”
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Whinge away. And keep all eyes open for a new opportunity and place to be.
I hear you. Thanks for trusting all of us with your thoughts. Hang tight, ok?
ReplyDeletethanks, friends.
ReplyDeleteI'm with m and I'm hoping that some new opportunity will present itself sooner rather than later.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've been meaning to pop by to say thank you for the recommendation of Spindle's End you made back on day four I think? The day after I read your post I came across it in a second hand shop and thought I would give it a read as I'd seen it on your list. I'm really, really enjoying it. Thank you xo
That thought,"at least I have a job" only applies if you have a job that is not killing you and pays enough to live off of. $8 an hour does not qualify. I personally found that even fast food was better than retail as far as shitty jobs go.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about justice, but there is no fairness in this world.
All I can say is I'd hug you if I could.