Day 18 - your wedding/future wedding
My thoughts about this change pretty frequently. So much depends on who I marry, and what our budget turns out to be -- since my parents obviously aren't going to be pitching in. Not that I ever believed they were really planning on it in the first place.
By the way. I can't even tell you what a relief it was, when it finally dawned on me that I did not have to invite my parents to my wedding. With that realization, I could look forward to the future, for literally the first time, with only hope and joy. (Also, the knowledge that I did not have to let my mom be there when my children were born, that I did not have to ever take my babies to my parent's awful house...) Oh, my God. It may seem like a simple decision to you, I don't know. But for me it was a revelation. And I glory in it, still.
In fact, when I think of my wedding, the first thing I typically think is: Omg, I only need to invite the people that I actually want to be there! Hooray! I don't have to let anyone else come! And that, combined with the thought of marrying some who I'm totally in love with, who loves me back, is enough for me to know that it will be a perfect day no matter what.
I've known for several years that I don't really want a traditional ceremony. I still don't know if I'll even have a "wedding" or if I'll just go to the courthouse with my fiance, and then throw a big reception afterward. If I do have a ceremony, there will be no bridesmaids and no groomsmen (at least not in the traditional sense), and definitely no matchy-matchy outfits on fully grown adults. No offense to you, if you had them! I just do not understand it and you won't find them at mine.
It cracks me up when people say their wedding is going to be so original; weddings are not original. Weddings are about as common as you can get. So I won't say I'm going to be original. I just want to have a really great party, the biggest best party I've ever had, with all of the people I like most. As long as I'm married by the end of it, we'll have accomplished what we set out to do -- and I will be happy.
Here are my current thoughts on what I'd like to wear. Any other ideas I have are sitting patiently in the back of my mind, waiting for a certain boy and those four magic words.