September 27, 2010


Most women, at some point or other, suddenly realize that their baby's life has become more valuable to them than their own. Given the choice, we would do anything to keep that baby from harm, even to our own detriment. (This is not remotely rational, but there it is.) And yet, our bodies do not follow suit. Our bodies will choose us, every time.

Poor bodies. You were only following your tidy algorithms, your infallible logic. You did not know we would rather our child had lived, and we had not. You did not know we would resent you, regardless of whether you had anything to do with it at all. That we would think you had betrayed us, and therefore we had somehow betrayed our child.