December 18, 2009

bereft

It's like my mum is walking away from me, like she's been walking away from me at a steady pace my entire life. All I've ever seen is her back. And I've been running, running and running, trying to catch up, but I can never get there on my little-girl legs. Not even close.

Sometimes I can hear her voice, and I realize she is talking to me, talking like I am right there by her side; but I'm not. I'm still behind her. Miles behind. And she doesn't seem to notice that I'm not actually there. She even has her hand out, as if she's holding mine.

I shout. I shout again and again, and I jump up and down and wave my arms. But it doesn't matter. I think the fantasy is more real to her than I am. She never even turns her head. And now... Now, I'm not running anymore. And she just keeps walking. And she is almost out of sight.

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