I'm so distracted today. Not sure what to blame it on. I spent the entire morning online, reading blogs written by other baby-lost mamas. It was good to see those stories, and know that I'm not the only one feeling the things I feel. But I've had trouble focusing on anything else since then. I got called for a job interview, which is encouraging. I was still going to go out and pick up some more applications, but I ended up driving around town for half an hour without actually getting anywhere. So I decided I'd better just take the rest of the day off. I feel... I feel slightly dissociated. I feel like I've not gone very far, but still I'm not completely inside my body. As if my body were only wearing me, like some kind of ethereal garment. A dress, maybe. A sweater draped over my own shoulders. A long, hooded cloak. Yes, that's it. I feel like a hooded cloak.
I have a headache. The sunlight is hurting my eyes.
I think I might sound like a crazy person. But I don't really care.
ReplyDeleteWho gets to define crazy for us? Boy do i get this post. Really get it. And you know, it's not crazy. It's a fact of where you were. Hey, if you ever have any questions about this type of stuff, feel free to email me. You know about my...history, etc right? I shared it on my blog.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, here for ya if you ever have any extra questions. And I don't care if you publish this comment. No big deal, since i keep "me" so anonymous on my blog...
hang in there, sweet friend. You're doing great.
ang et al