I was thinking rather dismally this morning about some of the myriad of painful things I've been through in my short life, and if any of that grief could have been spared, if I had the chance to do it over... and I was startled to realize, strange as it seems even to me, that I would not take back those first few months of the summer, and my second round with J, as heartrending as it was -- because Noah came from that.
I tried telling myself I wouldn't know the difference, if it had never happened, or even if I just hadn't known. It hurt like nothing else to lose my baby, and is another checkmark on a long list of traumas... but I wouldn't trade those precious weeks with my first son for anything.
No comments:
Post a Comment