remembrance

Not long ago I wondered if I would ever be able to carry a baby to term. I still don't know, not yet. It looks like I probably can. I am hopeful. I am afraid of losing my baby, and I am afraid too of what happens after he makes it here in one piece. But I am thankful for this experience, for the movements I feel even as I type this, that I was unsure if I would ever be allowed to know. Two losses under my belt, and some have suffered even more. But losses or no, it does not make you better, or bigger, or smaller, or less than anyone else. It is a thing that happens, that has happened before. You let it break you, or you carry on, just like anything else.

It’s weird to think that joy and grief can exist in a person at the same time but they can, and one doesn’t cancel out the other. - from Apache & Honeysuckle