Hello Hello

So it's 2016 and my son is 2 years old (WHAT?!) and my baby is teething and I'm back up to full time units at school and still working as well and it's been about 70* around here which is lovely after all the cold and storms and my sister came to visit briefly last weekend and it was so so hard to let her go back home.

How are you?

pros/cons

Phil and Hunter went to visit family, so Phoenix and I are on our own this weekend. The house is so tidy (I cleaned up yesterday, and it's still clean!) but it's also very, very quiet. The Christmas decorations are up in record time, and I can pretty much nap whenever I want. Still, I can't quite decide if I like it or not. I think I might miss my messy boys.

Hunter Goes to Washington

Last weekend Hunter got on his first of hopefully many airplanes and flew with me to Seattle to meet lots of people who love him.



He was not too sure how to feel about air travel, as you can see, and kept this expression on his face pretty much the whole flight. But he was a trooper and I am so proud of him for handling with aplomb what many adults have not even experienced. He was thoroughly adored during our visit and I think the trip was well worth it.





We had a really nice time but missed Phil very much and are happy to be home again. Next week during spring break the three of us will be making the rounds to visit Phil's side of the family; many more sweet moments soon to come.

Thanksgiving-ish

Turns out I didn't actually take any pictures on Thanksgiving, but I do have a few from the days before and after...


Before: My cousin and a friend wanted to learn to make pies from scratch, so I got to practice my teaching skills and prep for Thanksgiving at the same time. We made apple, pumpkin, and chicken pot pies. It took pretty much all day. They said now when they get one of my pies as a gift they will be even more appreciative :)


1. Baby gettin' all up in my way.
2. My protege's first apple pie. So proud!
3. One of my pumpkin pies


After: Up in Grass Valley with Phil's family where we spend the holidays our Black Friday tradition is to sleep in as late as we can and then go on a hike in the afternoon. This year was more of a walking excursion, for my sake, but just as fun.


1. Gray Lodge Wildlife Area
2. My Philip
3. Me with Phil's neices

redemption

This past weekend was beautiful, in every way. Hands down the best mothers' day weekend of my life so far. We went up to Live Oak and I'll say it again and again, I love my boyfriend's family so much! With every visit they are more comfortable and more welcoming. They made it pretty clear this time that they are hoping they might get to keep me.

Saturday was P's mom's birthday and we went out to a nice dinner with lots of relatives. It's my own mother's birthday as well, a date I've tried to put out of my mind for the most part, but D is worthy of celebrating and I'll gladly remember it for her. Sunday morning I gave her a birthday/mothers' day card and she thanked me and hugged me and told me I was one of her daughters, which surprised me enough that it almost made me cry. I told her I'd take all the mothering I could get.

It got really hot in the afternoon so I absconded with P's nieces on a secret mission to the Dollar store, where we stocked up on squirt guns, water balloons, and sponges, and then went home to recruit everyone into some backyard anarchy to combat the 98+ degree temps. The whole family dropped everything to play with us, and it was awesome.

All day, I did not think about sad things. I never felt pressured. Or uncomfortable. Or angry. Or depressed. I was surrounded by people who accepted and cared for me, people who were grateful for my presence. I was lavished with generous verbal and physical affection that had no strings attached. And it was all so easy. So soul-refreshing. I felt free.

couldn't ask for anything better

On Sunday morning we laid in bed and listened to the rain peter out, finally exhausted from it's nightlong temper tantrum, until bright gold rays lanced the blinds and the birdies outside said it was time to get up, get up, get up. Without the ceremony of showers or hair brushing or, if we're being honest, real clothes for any of us, we bundled P's nieces out the door and into the car and off to Denny's. A's tiny hand in mine, like a baby bunny's, warm and improbably small, across the parking lot and into a big booth by the window where water still dripped from the eves and made a lacy curtain of sparkles as it fell. R's intense adolescent persona softened, for once, as she colored her menu, and it was nice to see a calm little girl, if only briefly, in her stead.

We ordered breakfast, cheap and hot, and in between bites marveled quietly at the fancy church people in their pretty Easter clothes. Years ago, I would have felt self conscious under their eyes, but not now. I did not feel shabby, but shiny-bright and glorious and content. I looked around the table at those three complex and deeply lovely companions of mine and told them, I could not ask for anyone or anything better than you three, right here, right now. At a Denny's. On Easter morning.

diamonds & roses

My cousin got married on Sunday. They asked me to do the photos, and P agreed to help. I was a nervous wreck for 24 hours leading up to and during the ceremony and reception but then finally it was over and I put my camera away and had some champagne and danced with my boyfriend until I couldn't dance anymore. Now I get to go through and edit the 2700+ photos that we took over the course of approximately 8 hours that day. Hopefully there are at least a handful of keepers.

Le sigh.

See you later. xoxo

hitting the road

On our way north to spend the holiday weekend with P's family... Eep!

the very last day

I am sitting in a living room. I am living. I am loved. And tomorrow we will have Christmas. (Christmas!) It doesn't matter the day. It will be Christmas here, tomorrow. It will be twinkly lights and yummy dinner and nutella and chocolate and torn paper and peppermints and squeals and pajamas and blankets and gingerbread and smiles. It will be presents made and bought and wrapped in secret and taped up tight with names all scrawled across the front in black sharpie. It will be hugs and squeezes and not letting go not even for a second because this is the last day, the very last day. The last day together. Our Christmas.

street art : chinatown

shine baby shine

Little Fifi turned 8 years old today! I can hardly believe it.
Baby you're a firework / Come on, show 'em what you're worth...



Happy Birthday, Poodle! You are a firework, my love.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO forever -- vera

now we are six

When I was one, I had just begun.




When I was two, I was nearly new.




When I was three, I was hardly me.




When I was four, I was not much more.





When I was five, I was just alive.




But now I am six! I'm as clever as clever...

So I think I'll be six: now and forever.





Love you, sister-friend!
XOXOXOXOXOXOX FOREVER -- vera


Poem "Now We Are Six" by A.A. Milne
All photos © Vera Kate Hadley
DO NOT USE WITHOUT PERMISSION

I always seem to forget / How fragile are the very strong

Well, thanks to the awesome blog challenge I am participating in, I had a handy list of things I could do for self-care.  And today I really needed me some self-care.  Good timing, universe!  Thank you very much.

Today I : Had hot tea and toast for breakfast.  Asked A not to turn on the TV till I was done eating.  Wrote some posts for my blog.  Took extra care with my outfit and makeup (and received several compliments in return).  Hummed my Lissie's sweet little song all day.  Said "No" to an extra hour at work.  Tried on clothes after my shift.  Sat in Barnes & Noble with a soy Chai latte and read the first five chapters of Inkheart (which is also a pretty great movie, by the way).  Had a nice bath, with sparkly bubbles, when I got home. 

I wish the sea was not so far away; it would have been nice to lay on the sand and listen to the crashing waves for awhile.  Though I would trade even that beloved experience gladly for a hug.  A real life hug -- from anyone really, so long as they meant it.  (Nobody touches me, here; have I told you that before?  My skin is starving.  The most human contact I get these days is if my hand accidentally brushes a customer's while I'm giving them back their change.) 

I wish I had my Sophie and my Cissa.  I miss them so much; and they give the best snuggles.  I hope hope hope I will get to see them soon.