P: Who can tell us the true story of Christmas? The real story?
R: Oh, me! Me! Ok, so FIRST of all, there were these three wise men. And they saw an awesome star. Not just a regular star, it was, like, a really special star. A super big awesome star, very bright. So they followed it because they wanted to see what it was for. It was for a special baby. And they had presents but I can't remember what they were.
A: I know! Beauty, and good dancing, and... and everyone to love you.
R: No, no, no. That's Sleeping Beauty! Ugh.
R: Ok wait, I remember now, there was some gold. And Franken-stince, and... Merl. I don't know what that is. I don't know why they brought that. But anyway the baby was born in... uh... Gotham.
V: Wait, was the baby Batman?
R: No!! It was baby Jesus. Oh yeah, so it was Bethleham, not Gotham. He was born in Bethleham in a barn and the animals let him sleep on their hay to stay warm. And he didn't even cry. And there were cows and sheep and stuff eating the hay but baby Jesus was just sleeping and he didn't care. And shepherds came too and angels and the wise men brought their presents for the little baby boy.
A: The baby was a boy?! What?!
R: Yes, duh! Jesus is a boy so he was a boy baby. Like baby Hunter is a boy. And that's the story of Christmas. I think.