I am already mourning his tiny newness and wishing I had more photos and video from the last few weeks. I was in too much of a sleepless haze and it truly did not even occur to me until now, which makes sense but still surprises me for some reason, and I have to forgive myself for it. I do have some very sweet photos on my phone and instagram but I hope if I do all this again I will remember, and get more creative sooner with the real camera. He's definitely lost that newborn look already, the simpler, more serene expressions, the purple-red extremeties, that thin and peely skin. He's filled out so much and has rolls now all over him, and has suddenly outgrown clothes he could wear just a few days ago. Most people guess when they see him that he's older than he is. Such a short time ago I wished he would wake up more, and now it is a challenge to get him to sleep. He's so bright and alert and doesn't seem to want to miss a thing.
There are only a few photos of me and him together, but every time I see one I feel a wave of mild vertigo. That is my baby. I am his mother. That is a photo of a baby and his mother. It hardly seems real but I am so thankful that it is.