I'll eat you up I love you so

Yesterday I got out of work a little early so I had some time to myself at home. I decided to take stock of what I had so far for Christmas gifts, see what I still needed, and start wrapping the things that were ready. I had to take a break because sitting on the floor is no treat these days (plus baby hates it when I lean forward and take up any of his coveted room) so I moved to the arm chair to lean back for a bit and the baby was wiggling around like crazy and making my belly jump all over the place, and I was wishing he was out so I could see him better, and wrangle his flailing little arms and legs and kiss him all up. And for the very first time I felt just pure mushy loviness at the idea of him being here finally, with no trepidation or anxiety even faintly tingeing it, and I have to say it was such a huge relief to realize it afterward. That I could be just happy and excited, and not at all afraid, even if only briefly. There is hope.