...

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.

Albert Camus

confession

I want to scoop up your words and put them in my pockets,
run them between my fingers in idle moments
sprinkle them around me, my magic circle
my trail of crumbs back home. I come
greedily, silently and often
a thief in the night
and I take take take, and your words
shine a light or
blow things to bits or
make space inside of me that was not there before. It is
foolishness, really
to leave such treasures lying about, where anyone can see.

But I love your foolishness; the generosity
the kindness, the courage of it.



Catherine! Jess! Kate! This one's for you. Because I think you are magnificent, and because your writing makes my life better. I pretty much fail at commenting, but I really do love you.

come morning light

Sad, but so well done I can't stop listening to it.
(And now, a beautiful video to go with it!)

some other beginning's end

Into a new year, a golden year -- a glory year, I hope. Just me and my full full heart and steadfast spirit and diamond mind. No secret dreams, not this time; I've laid them out, big and small, gentle and attainable but challenging still, and if I can achieve even half of them I'll feel that this was a more than worthwhile year.

friendly ghosts

Work is just that, isn't it, and taking more out of me than I ever knew it could. My words are scarce, even inside my own head, all echoes and whispers and fragments of things that almost are and then are not. What words I do have are saved for them, for my dearest, my friendly ghosts.

bits and pieces

There is nothing left, nothing
but a box and
another, smaller box
which
contain

bits and pieces
ribbons, lace
cards and letters

the teeniest, tiniest
things:

brown monkey shoes
stripey shirts
a hat
a blanket
a book
a dress

all that is left
of the two of you, and
who I hoped
you'd be.

the very last day

I am sitting in a living room. I am living. I am loved. And tomorrow we will have Christmas. (Christmas!) It doesn't matter the day. It will be Christmas here, tomorrow. It will be twinkly lights and yummy dinner and nutella and chocolate and torn paper and peppermints and squeals and pajamas and blankets and gingerbread and smiles. It will be presents made and bought and wrapped in secret and taped up tight with names all scrawled across the front in black sharpie. It will be hugs and squeezes and not letting go not even for a second because this is the last day, the very last day. The last day together. Our Christmas.

concise

My posts are often short. I cannot go on at length, for what is left to say? I cannot tell you of their darlingness, their splendidness. Their precious, precious hearts. I cannot tell you.

I cannot tell.

exist, cease, persist

This short article by Brian Greene was really interesting to me.

I think about death and dying a lot. That sounds morbid I guess, but I don't think I'm morbid. I have encountered something that changed me profoundly; I consider it often because I need to understand it as best I can, or risk running mad, shattered by my lack of... well. Shattered by my lack.

People rarely seem to want to talk about it, which makes me appreciate candid opinions and theories like this one all the more. It's only a way of thinking, of course; but what else do we have?

the playlist game

I can't remember where I got this from, but it seemed like a fun thing to do today. If you like, you can create your own post and join in below using Mr. Linky, or just share your playlist in the comments. Then in a week or so I'll choose someone at random to win a little present from me, including a mix CD of my most loved Christmas/Winter songs. :)


01 | Your Favorite
Volcano - Damien Rice

02 | Makes You Happy
Kill Your Heroes - AWOLNATION

03 | Makes You Sad
The Chain - Ingrid Michaelson

04 | Reminds You of Someone
Safe & Sound - Matthew Mayfield

05 | Reminds You of Somewhere
Airplanes - B.o.B.

06 | Reminds You of a Certain Event
Running Up That Hill - Placebo

07 | You Can Dance To
Sing, Sing, Sing - Benny Goodman

08 | You Can Fall Asleep To
Song for Viola - Peter Bradley Adams

09 | From Your Favorite Band
Secrets - One Republic

10 | From Your Favorite Album
Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars

11 | Recently Discovered
Cameras - Matt & Kim

12 | An Unexpected Fave
How I Roll - Britney Spears

13 | Describes You
Everything's Just Wonderful - Lily Allen

14 | For When You’re Angry
Not Afraid - Eminem

15 | For When You’re Excited
Queen of the World - Ida Maria

16 | For When You’re Sad
Bring on the Wonder - Susan Enan

17 | To Be Played at Your Wedding
Lullaby - Dixie Chicks

18 | To Be Played at Your Funeral
How the Day Sounds - Greg Laswell

19 | Makes You Laugh
Hallows - Mandy Maynard

20 | Your Favorite at This Time Last Year
Maybe Next Year - Meiko


I hope you'll play! I have a wicked sore throat that kept me up into the night, and a muchness of things to get ready for Thanksgiving tomorrow. I could use some good new songs to get me through it!